


Becoming a Blood Mage

by Yellow_Bird



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Allison, Clueless Scott, Dark Stiles, Evil Stiles Stilinski, F/F, F/M, Helpful Peter, M/M, Magical Stiles Stilinski, just pretend she didn't die
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 18:03:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12259368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yellow_Bird/pseuds/Yellow_Bird
Summary: As my story came to a close I realized that I was the villain all along. Or maybe that’s not right. Maybe I knew from the start that I was the villain, at the very least I knew I wasn’t a good person no matter how much I tried to act like I was. To become what I became you really can't be a good person. But I think as I look bad on it I'd rather describe myself as morally flexible.





	1. Looking Back

**Author's Note:**

> Just heads up for anyone decided to try and read this, I have no idea how long this is going to be. Heck I have no idea if this will get finished, it may just be this one shot but I doubt that. Anyway sorry for any mistakes in it, this has not been beta read.

As my story came to a close I realized that I was the villain all along. Or maybe that’s not right. Maybe I knew from the start that I was the villain, at the very least I knew I wasn’t a good person no matter how much I tried to act like I was. I fought the bad guys alongside the good guys, defend those who could not defend themselves, but inside I felt nothing. I only felt something when blood was spilled, when we had to test the limits to get the job done. I only felt something when it took the others hours to accept what we had to do when it only took me seconds to come up with the plan. I only felt something when I felt power course through my veins while other cringed at the sights. 

Deaton had said once that there was a spark inside of me, that with training I could learn to use it. He never really said what for nor did he ever offer to teach me except for the one time it was needed. I didn’t need Deaton’s help though, I could figure it out on my own just like everything else we had dealt with. But the more I dug around the more I realized just why Deaton had avoided me. 

It was a spark, yes, but a spark that I had to learn to fuel in a way that would make some people push it down and hide the flame. The spark needed the power to grow and power had to come from somewhere. The easiest and fastest way to get that power was to gather it from people, to take it from them. Life itself was the greatest food of all and it was addicting. 

I figured it out on accident, not like you could just google how to grow a spark and come up with real answers. No that was too easy, even if the answer to my question was something so simple. Something that I’d already seen others do, I just hadn’t connected the dots myself. No, it took us fighting and killing a vampire for me to figure it out. Well more like the werewolves fought and I just happened to be the one to kill the thing. At first, I didn’t even know what happened when I felt the slight rush of power, like a jolt of electricity. I’d learn in time what it meant. 

After that I could feel the spark buzzing lightly under my skin, humming almost as it flowed through my body. I slowly learn to control it, to move it within my body and eventually outside of my body as well. I learned that the more I mess with it, the weaker it gets until I realize that to keep the fire that I started burning that I need to feed it. 

It doesn’t happen right away, I have to wait for the opportunity, not like I can just go out a kill someone and see if it happens again. Besides the first time it was a vampire that died, maybe it has to be something supernatural, maybe there were other factors I didn’t notices? But this was Beacon Hills, after all, I didn’t need to wait too long for something to come along and try and kill us all. 

This time it happened much the same as the last, although a couple of the pack members gave me an odd look when I killed the witch. I knew they didn’t really like killing, even if it was someone who needed to be put down, but no one said anything about it and I wasn’t about to bring it up. 

The rush of power was much the same as the time before, with different flares as if some of the witches power came with it. But it lights the fire inside me once more and that was what I needed. 

It was after the fourth kill that I suspected the pack knew something was up, the way conversations seemed to end when I came into a room or the lingering looks some gave when I walked around it. It wasn’t until Kira finished away from me when I reached for something that I figured they were finally catching on.

Even with the pack and myself growing farther apart I can’t help but think that this is what I want for the future. Not to be stuck in the same loop of fighting the bad guys just to try and live a normal life that we won't ever be able to reach. Because with the fire inside I don’t have to pretend that everything's normal, because ever since the void, no ever since Scott got bit nothing will ever be normal again. 

I think about everything that I’ve learned about my spark, about the power it holds when the fire takes hold, as I lay in a pool of my own blood. Think about all the choices I’ve made that lead me to this in the end. And as I think on this I realize that I wouldn’t go back and change it. I may have been the villain in the story, but the villains were always my heroes. 

But this is all getting a little bit ahead, you don’t want to hear the end of the story or a simple flash through of my life. No, you want the worse, the bad, and the ugly. So why don’t we start when it all came crashing down. When I left Beacon Hills and the pack found out just how close I was to become the things we killed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess there's another chapter after all. 
> 
> So since there is more I guess I should explain where this is in terms of where this storyline falls with the canon storyline. This story picks up a couple months after the nogitsune is defeated, Allison having pulled through even after being stabbed. Erica and Boyd are alive and just didn't die when they should have. 
> 
> Again unsure if this will ever be finished, unbetaed. 
> 
> The bottom note is explaining some of the tags so if you need to read them so you're okay then please do so some spoilers.

Running my hand through my hair I ascend the steps up to the loft where the pack was called together for who knows what. Sometimes Scott calls us together because something is wrong and other times he just calls us. But unless you show up as expected you can’t ever tell which one is which. 

Running my hand through my hair was a new habit, one I had picked up after letting it grow out from the buzz cut to something Lydia said made me look better. I’d gotten over my crush on her awhile ago, so while the compliment was appreciated, I didn’t take it any farther than that. 

Taking the stairs instead of the perfectly good elevator was something I did to burn the energy that now constant buzzed under my skin. The ADD didn’t help, but that mixed with the energizing magic made for a sparkling combination. Something like climbing the stairs worked, a task my mind could focus on and something to calm his magic. Of course, the face some of the wolves give me when I walk into the loft isn’t a good one, probably something about the sweat I could feel running down my back, but whatever they could deal with it. 

“Am I the last one?” I ask after taking my place on one of the bar stools along the wall, moved from there place at the bar closer to the main room so the pack can sit. 

While most of the pack chooses to sit, Scott, Derek, and Peter all stay standing something that isn’t exactly out of the ordinary. Allison, Isaac, and Kira all sit on the couch, with Scott standing behind them putting him in the middle of the room. Boyd and Erica take up the love seat, Erica sitting more on top of Boyd then in the actual seat. Derek stands behind them leaning on the wall with his arms crossed as if he doesn't care to be there. Lydia and Jackson mirror Body and Erica sitting in the chair across from the love seat with the coffee table in between. Peter stands the farthest away from the group, leaning against the bar close to Stiles and behind Lydia and Jackson. 

“Yeah, but most of us haven’t been here too long,” Scott finally replies back, although I get the feeling that his not too long and my not too long are two different times. For now, I ignore the half-truth, knowing it’s a fight not worth diving into.

“Anyway now that we are all here we can get this pack meeting started,” Scott called with rather obvious fake enthusiasm, going so far as to clap his hands in front of him. 

My eyes narrow at the gesture, feeling more than one set of eyes on me while Scott talks. The tension in the room is so hard you could cut it with a knife and I get the feeling that this isn’t just a meeting that Scott decided to throw on his own. It’s one of those, we need to talk but I don’t know how to talk so let's try to with everyone here and it may or may not have been my idea. 

“Why don’t we just cut to it, Scott?” Lydia seems to tell Scott more than suggest and after getting a nod from Scott she elaborates although I seem to be the only one who needs her words explained farther. “Somethings going on with you Stiles and more than just what happened after the void, or if it is the void left it’s getting worse.”

She turns to stare at me as she talks her eyes full of worry that it makes me wonder just have far she begun to care for all of us, myself included. It’s almost sad to think that she cares so much when I know she shouldn’t. I mean I’m sure in her eyes something's wrong with me, out of anyone in the pack she’s probably the one to notice when I stopped caring if I killed someone. She was always the smart one, with werewolves replying to much on their untrained instincts it was the only thing that made sense. That she figured something out, the others it should have taken months. 

“And just what is it that you think's going on with me Lydia?” I ask her, keeping my voice neutral, raising just as much suspicion but it’s too late to change strategy. Her comments are open-ended on purpose like she’s trying to see if I’ll just spill everything before them, let them see my insides while I hold the knife. But no that’s not how this game is going to work. If you want to talk, fine show me your cards and I’ll toss in the jokers. 

Instead of Lydia replying to the taunt though it’s Scott, with his large puppy eyes that you can only believe his words come from the heart. And while I’m sure they do, it doesn’t mean he’ll get more out of me then she did. “Come on man, we know something’s up and we just want to help. You’ve got to let us help.” 

It’s almost enough to make me want to tell Scott what’s wrong, to dig the knife in a show him what’s inside me now. But the me that would do that’s long gone, so far back that I don’t know if I remember what he looks like. Scott was and always has been my brother, but even family grows apart and sometimes keeping things from them is for the better. 

“Can’t ruin all the fun just yet Scott by laying out my whole hand. Besides I’m sure Lydia has some ideas and if not I’m sure you’ve gone to Deaton or Morrel even. I bet they both have very cryptic answers as to what the effects of the void could have on me and what you can do to fix it.” At this point, I’m playing with them and it hasn’t even been ten whole minutes yet. Not only that but I’m sounding more and more like the fox I know burned. 

Lydia would, of course, be the one to point it out, “Stiles is this your game or someone else’s?” She vague enough about it that maybe only Alison and Peter get what she’s hinting at, well other than myself of course. 

“It’s my game now,” I answer simply, causing her face to grow darker as she ponders over how truthful the statement is. Surprisingly it’s Alison that speaks up next. 

“Stiles, we know something's wrong. We thought you were getting better but then after the fight with the vampire you seemed to just be getting farther and farther away from us. We thought by letting you have space you’d come to us if you needed help but it’s just getting worse.” 

Honestly, I was surprised to hear she figured out the main turning point, of course, I doubted she knew how much that fight had changed me but still, points to Alison. “Alison if anything that fight with the vampire made me better, but even if I try to explain it to you, you won’t understand.” I start before catching myself, it seems Alison’s puppy eyes are better today than Scott’s to get even that out of me. 

No one seems to know what to say after that, most of the pack continuing their silences streak as they watch and listen on. I’m sure with one word from Scott that will move to his will, but so far they rest list statues. Even Peter who always has some kind of sass to toss in when he’s involved with the pack. I almost wonder if they had done something like this after the Nogitsune if maybe I wouldn’t have gone down this road, but for now, I can’t travel in time so it doesn’t matter either way. 

“Stiles you’re sound like the Nogitsune,” Erica chimes in now her voice seeming to push her pain through it. It’s like the others, sad in its own way that Catwoman would show the emotion she’s tried to hide since becoming a werewolf. 

But no matter what they tell me they won’t understand, if I try to explain it we’ll just end up going in loops all day. They’ll try and make me give it up and honestly I’m not sure what’ll happen if I do. If I stop feeding the fire inside of me, will I go out with it, will it’s death be my own? 

I only scuff in response to Erica, shaking my head as I try and figure out just what to say in response to her. Normally words would just fall out of my mouth, but after being around werewolves so long keeping my mouth shut when needed is something I’ve begun to mast. I know what she’s saying is true, I really am sounding like the Nogitsune, but is that so surprising? He was inside my head, more bound to be messed up then could be imagined. 

“I’m sure some of you are actually worried about me, but if you wanted to do some kind of intervention or whatever this is you’re trying to do it’s too late now. Why don’t I just say what this really is? You want to make sure that I’m not going to start killing people when it isn’t okay with you? I mean yeah Scott you’re always saying we shouldn’t kill anything even when everyone can see it’s the only option. We are all here to make sure that the peace we’ve had with just these small creatures doesn’t get screwed up.” At this point words were just falling out of my mouth, the dam open as the water poured out. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if anything I was saying made sense and with my habit of jumping from topic to topic, it probably didn’t. But I was done. Having decided that there wouldn’t be a way to make them understand anything that was happening. Hell, I didn’t understand!

“So I’ll save you all the trouble of figuring it out,” with that last comment I walked out. I walked out on my best friend, my comrades, my pack and no one tried to stop me. 

I walked right out of the loft, went so far as to walk down the stairs because it seemed right at the time, walk up to my baby and turned the keys before finally letting out the breath I’d held for so long now. The conversation didn't last longer than fifteen minutes before I was done with it or maybe I was done with it before it started. 

It wasn’t as if I had thought it would come to that, sure somewhere in the back of my mind I knew it could happen. That there was a chance it would come to this. Hell, I was prepared for it. But I didn’t want it to happen. I wanted to pretend it wouldn’t. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t truly prepared for it to come down to this. And while a small part of my mind told me it didn’t have to come to this. I knew that it did, that it would be better for everyone. 

Now was the time to leave the life I knew behind. Drive straight home and thank whatever power out there that dads working a double. I know it’ll hurt him, but Melissa will take care of him and maybe things will get better without me. He wouldn’t have to deal with all the problems I brought to the table and the pack wouldn’t need to worry about anything other than the monsters coming to them not the ones standing by them. Yeah, it was better this way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> None of the major character deaths will be depicted in the story and will all happen off screen and far later in the story if we get to that point. There will, however, be depictions of Stiles killing other supernatural creatures, where he feels little to no remorse and at times enjoys the act.

**Author's Note:**

> What'd you think, ready to hear the whole story?


End file.
